I believe many will believe why I blog at this timing is because I just finish our conversation on the phone. We almost broke up. But I'll see what bah, Maybe tmr we'll break up also not sure. I've said all sort of nonsense, all chunk of nonsense to her. Until she said somethings that made me understand that I'm so selfish. Used to keep feeling that fetching and staying at her house are so inconvenient. Sucks totally with her sisters and family around. Totally nothing to do. Yes, dreadful. But until now, I realised that I'm selfish. I've always been putting convinence in front of HER. Damn, what am I thinking?? if i truely want a relationship I must have the spirit to give up certain things. not dunno what i want in this relationship.

Darling, I'm sorry. From the start of this relationship, I've not really considered what I want from it. I know you always have been putting me as ur priority, but I did not. :'( I'm very very sorry. I apologised, maybe I'm not suited for you. I'm considering.. considering.. if we shld break up. But I know, whenever I see ricky i'll remember you. :p no joke k? I love you, just that i was blinded. Maybe I shld consider giving myself some time to adapt again. to be a good boyfriend. I've hurt you again tonight :( I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't want to. Just that I'm selfish. So sorry :( Forgive me, for whatever things I've done in the past.

I may not be a good guy you've been seeking for, but I'll try my best to meet your expectation. Gimme some time. I'll try to. I'm always 'myself', always all about me :( Sorry.